I wrote the following in response to a recent media article written by a psychologist who blamed Mr. Trump for the post-election street violence that is taking place in some large cities … AND … claimed Mr. Trump will be the cause of an increase of bullying in schools and other areas of life. To blame Mr. Trump for perceived future bullying is IMO ridiculous. I mean the entire campaign was malicious and devious. The media did their best to create and inflame the news rather than reporting it and, in some cases, media ignored (a kind of bullying) candidates they wanted to push into the background, as in the case of Sanders. In many ways, it was a very unkind election process. But my thoughts on bullying are not politically influenced, as I was neither a Trump or Clinton supporter (I voted third party Green).
We constantly hear about bullying these days. I think that to blame Mr. Trump or anyone for perceived "future bullying" is really off-base, as I am an elderly person and bullying was very alive and active all the while I was a child. All it takes is for one individual (and his/her posse or accomplice if he/she has one) to pick on a child who seems "alone" or smaller or special in some way. Both verbal and physical bullying are devastating to the recipient. As an eleven-year-old, I was thrown from the sidewalk into the street twice by the same gang of teen girls, and as a very young pre-school child, was repeatedly thrown to the ground by a large boy in my neighborhood who sat on me and pummeled me with his fists until my mother would run out of the house in response to my screams (he later added putting one hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream and at that point, my mother talked to his parents about it). I also had a brother who once punched me in the face. The bullying that I was so conditioned to followed me into adulthood and marriage. One day I responded to bullying by throwing a bag of garbage at the bullying person; I knew I was doing a dangerous thing but it was my moment of turning point. And typing the word "turning" brings to mind an early conversation in which my father had given me some well-meant advice when I was a kid, but I hadn't followed it. He said "don't act scared but if a bully starts chasing you, run away (to fool him/her), then when he/she has almost caught you, suddenly stop and turn and punch him/her as hard as you can wherever you can reach with good leverage. So in essence, the garbage bag was my sucker punch and it worked. IMPORTANT -- This is not advice I'm giving on how to deal with a bully in today's world. I survived bullying because I learned and practiced avoidance techniques and because I have a guardian Angel who works overtime. In today's world, bullied kids and adults have agencies and resources that can help -- if they know what's going on. People who are bullied need to find the courage to get over their reticence to report it to proper authorities.
There will always be bullies in our population because some humans do carry that gene or have been conditioned by their own bullies to pass it on. On a national and world level (bringing this writing back to where it began), I believe Mr. Trump wants to be a good president. Now we need to let the dust settle and stop the bickering and street violence in our country. I believe Mr. Trump and some of the other world leaders are awake to the fact that war is a huge mistake and peace is the prize we should all seek.
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Deny and Defy ...
That's what I did.
Some of my readers may recall that about a year ago, I wrote a blog post that (I thought) cleverly revealed that I had symptoms and test results indicating the probability of diabetes. The post was also, as I recall, a human interest item and it talked about the various types, ages, and circumstances of other people whose little dramas were observable to me that day. The post was up there for a while and then I went back in and edited it, changing the tone of it to something that danced around the topic like it was a "maybe, somewhat, someday possibility". I toned down the post considerably :) and, most importantly, it didn't scare me to read it after I'd changed it. Mind over matter !
Also, at the time I was convinced, and I think correctly so, that all the day-in and day-out back-breaking, emotional, and mind-bending work I'd been doing over a period of months to get this house ready to be lived in while also clearing out the former residence (about which I felt very sentimental) ... had run my health way down. And so I figured that taking better care of myself (emphasis on vitamins, gym, meditation) would enable me to spring back to my former vital self. Well, those items did help for sure and maybe could have been enough. But -- during the past year or so there were two huge, no ... super huge situations that affected and exacerbated my weakened self. Both were family-related. Jerry's hip and lymph edema (leg and foot) got much more severe and he now has very limited mobility. The other situation is associated with a family member who is dealing with severe and costly health, substance, and emotional problems and, who has, a number of times, returned to and then stormed out of my life. These took a toll but taught me to truly look at the process of understanding the "suchness" (a Buddhist term) meaning the true nature of a situation, thing, or person ... so if we truly understand the suchness of a particular person, it is easier for us to hold onto our inner peace. I realize that some doors just need to close.
But now, I want to try and get to the reason I've entitled this post Deny and Defy. A year ago, I really didn't want to have diabetes and so to deny its existence made me feel more comfortable. The concept goes back to the way I always dodge what I'll call "victimship". I don't like to admit it when I'm injured or hurt. As a child, I was a bit smaller and usually younger than my cousins and the neighborhood kids, so I got bullied quite a bit. I would never cry. My mother was like this, too. One of her sayings was "keep a stiff upper lip" (don't let them see you cry) while she did her best to protect me. She came from a large family with several older siblings, so she had developed her set of skills to deal with things. When eight years ago I got injured in the church shooting, I drove myself home in trauma and major pain rather than getting into an ambulance. I didn't want to be a victim, especially of that hate-filled bully man. Three months later, I went for a CT scan and, although the pellets are clearly there (passed into and across my forehead and settled in scar tissue in my right sinus cavity), my situation was viewed with a great deal of skepticism by many people and I was left to recover on my own until the reality of divine help and healing dramatically and clearly came to my aid (and remains with me).
Well, fast-forward to current times ... during recent sustained stress, my left hip stopped responding to chiropractic care and got very painful. Also a factor during the past year, I ate more deserts than ever before in my life (defy); yes, I was definitely proving the diabetes wasn't there. But I got really sick. So last week I dragged myself to the doctor where my tests revealed fully-developed diabetes and a thyroid deficiency (and a vitamin D deficiency). So I'm now on meds and extra vitamin D...and feeling a lot better. I've researched the possibility of self-stem cell injections in my hip, which could enable it to build new, denser bone tissue but may not need that if my current improvement continues. The diabetes med has dramatically helped my hip pain as well as my general well-being. So my hip is happy! I really like having happy body parts :)
It seems like there ought to be a moral to this hodgepodge story. It probably would be "don't try to be superwoman" or "superman" and "don't keep a stiff upper lip". If a red flag is there, don't deny and definitely don't defy. When you're hurting or scared, tell someone whom you trust. Another line I'll add here just for the sake of levity and because I think it's one of those wonderful old show-biz lines is "always leave them laughing" :) Well, OK, maybe not laughing, but definitely smiling! Let's smile and be grateful for life :)
Some of my readers may recall that about a year ago, I wrote a blog post that (I thought) cleverly revealed that I had symptoms and test results indicating the probability of diabetes. The post was also, as I recall, a human interest item and it talked about the various types, ages, and circumstances of other people whose little dramas were observable to me that day. The post was up there for a while and then I went back in and edited it, changing the tone of it to something that danced around the topic like it was a "maybe, somewhat, someday possibility". I toned down the post considerably :) and, most importantly, it didn't scare me to read it after I'd changed it. Mind over matter !
Also, at the time I was convinced, and I think correctly so, that all the day-in and day-out back-breaking, emotional, and mind-bending work I'd been doing over a period of months to get this house ready to be lived in while also clearing out the former residence (about which I felt very sentimental) ... had run my health way down. And so I figured that taking better care of myself (emphasis on vitamins, gym, meditation) would enable me to spring back to my former vital self. Well, those items did help for sure and maybe could have been enough. But -- during the past year or so there were two huge, no ... super huge situations that affected and exacerbated my weakened self. Both were family-related. Jerry's hip and lymph edema (leg and foot) got much more severe and he now has very limited mobility. The other situation is associated with a family member who is dealing with severe and costly health, substance, and emotional problems and, who has, a number of times, returned to and then stormed out of my life. These took a toll but taught me to truly look at the process of understanding the "suchness" (a Buddhist term) meaning the true nature of a situation, thing, or person ... so if we truly understand the suchness of a particular person, it is easier for us to hold onto our inner peace. I realize that some doors just need to close.
But now, I want to try and get to the reason I've entitled this post Deny and Defy. A year ago, I really didn't want to have diabetes and so to deny its existence made me feel more comfortable. The concept goes back to the way I always dodge what I'll call "victimship". I don't like to admit it when I'm injured or hurt. As a child, I was a bit smaller and usually younger than my cousins and the neighborhood kids, so I got bullied quite a bit. I would never cry. My mother was like this, too. One of her sayings was "keep a stiff upper lip" (don't let them see you cry) while she did her best to protect me. She came from a large family with several older siblings, so she had developed her set of skills to deal with things. When eight years ago I got injured in the church shooting, I drove myself home in trauma and major pain rather than getting into an ambulance. I didn't want to be a victim, especially of that hate-filled bully man. Three months later, I went for a CT scan and, although the pellets are clearly there (passed into and across my forehead and settled in scar tissue in my right sinus cavity), my situation was viewed with a great deal of skepticism by many people and I was left to recover on my own until the reality of divine help and healing dramatically and clearly came to my aid (and remains with me).
Well, fast-forward to current times ... during recent sustained stress, my left hip stopped responding to chiropractic care and got very painful. Also a factor during the past year, I ate more deserts than ever before in my life (defy); yes, I was definitely proving the diabetes wasn't there. But I got really sick. So last week I dragged myself to the doctor where my tests revealed fully-developed diabetes and a thyroid deficiency (and a vitamin D deficiency). So I'm now on meds and extra vitamin D...and feeling a lot better. I've researched the possibility of self-stem cell injections in my hip, which could enable it to build new, denser bone tissue but may not need that if my current improvement continues. The diabetes med has dramatically helped my hip pain as well as my general well-being. So my hip is happy! I really like having happy body parts :)
It seems like there ought to be a moral to this hodgepodge story. It probably would be "don't try to be superwoman" or "superman" and "don't keep a stiff upper lip". If a red flag is there, don't deny and definitely don't defy. When you're hurting or scared, tell someone whom you trust. Another line I'll add here just for the sake of levity and because I think it's one of those wonderful old show-biz lines is "always leave them laughing" :) Well, OK, maybe not laughing, but definitely smiling! Let's smile and be grateful for life :)
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