Very, Very Important Stuff That May Help...

Hello Everybody,
I know I've not been heard from in quite a while; the major reason is that my husband was increasingly incapacitated over the past year or so and I was kept very busy.  But the real thing I want to tell you about isn't as much about me as it could be about helping someone else whose spouse has been tortuously ill and dies. When Jerry passed away on January 14th of this year, he was released into the peace he needed and on the following Sunday he had a lovely service for which I am very grateful ... a great and personable minister, a throng of wonderful friends of his two oldest adult children (my step-children), a major turnout including my and Jerry's daughter, my closest friend, many other dear friends of mine who are fellow musicians, and some who are my fellow animal advocates. There was a lovely picture slide show and the service was glorious!  

There is always "the day after" when I expected to feel whatever people feel on the day after. But it was only a few hours into that day before the onslaught began. There isn't a way I can politely describe the avalanche of medical bills from doctors I'd never heard of, as well as a few I had knowledge of having treated Jerry with treatments I hadn't approved of. I should refer to my late husband as Gerald as that was his preference in recent years.  I dutifully paid each bill a day or so after its arrival, thinking that after a while it will be over.
It wasn't.  It escalated. Weeks later, it became terrifying when I realized that the sizable amount of money that had been in Gerald's accounts was shrinking fast.  I became scared and thought my life will not be worth living (or possible to live) and I started hating my overstuffed mailbox. I began calling the creditors and some of them said that if I pay the bill in full they will give a 20% discount. In those frenzied moments it sounded like they were giving me something. Not true, folks!  Not true!  And here is why:

My new attorney (whom I'd contacted to revise my Will and my friend's Will) told me yesterday that I've been paying bills for which I am not legally responsible. God bless him.  Yes. A surge of hope went through me when he said that.  You see, the lawyer I'd inherited from the legal group I'd had for years when my previous attorney left to do other things, did not tell me what I'm about to share with you.  She appeared to be interested mainly in accessing control of my finances.  Yesterday I learned that if a spouse dies leaving his widow with a P.O.D. on each of his savings accounts, with the house deed being in both names, the surviving spouse immediately gets these things and is not responsible for payment of the deceased person's personal and medical debts.  Tennessee is not a community property state. When I found this out, I had already paid five-digit numbers of dollars and still had more bills coming in, demanding immediate payment.  This morning I've had the freeing experience of telling-off two of the money-seekers. All they needed to get from me was my husband's date of death, with one of them requesting a copy of the death certificate. So ... they know ... but they don't tell us! Yes, this is what our health system has devolved into.  It is big business ... and it's almost impossible to find a doctor who isn't owned by a corporation. Corporations have tentacles that reach into other corporations ... and there is a huge supply of people to initiate bills.  So I've laid it out here, in the hope that what I've said here will help someone else whose spouse has recently died. 

To end on a positive topic ... no, to have a new beginning of a positive topic, through all of this, the music kept me alive; I especially love watching the YouTube music videos of Beverly (Guitar) Watkins ... what a tremendous musician and personality; she passed a month or so ago, but her music lives on. Just Google her name and YouTube and my favorite video of hers is "Rock Me Baby"; it's done like you've never heard/seen before and it actually picks you up so wonderfully.

I'm interested in getting together with other musicians ... I've got the space at my house ... and my house loves to hear music.  So does my dog :)  He sometimes howls with music. Music has great healing energies.  Music is the Universal language ... esoterically and literally ... those planets whirling around up there make music; and you may have noticed that when musicians are playing together, there is no racial strife, no worldly troubles, no politics, no negativity, just bliss :)

Peace and Joy.

Personal Stuff ...

If you'r'e still with me, dear Readers, thank you for hanging in there.  It's been a while since I've posted.  Things have been on the difficult side, emotionally and physically, with my being sort of a "multiple care-giver" (spouse, aging dog, and house) and having more than 99% of all responsibility -- from the mundane to the complex.  Dixie Lee is still with me, doing her best to stay with me and life ... and is still a beautiful spirit; she requires a lot of patience and extra care now. Jerry's conditions are hard to describe and I wouldn't attempt it out of consideration for his privacy, but I can say that he is almost completely immobilized and socially out of the loop.  For me, sometimes it's hard to be here in this house in which I put two years of major repairs and a huge emotional, physical, and financial investment. The times, too, are added to the mix.  My piano student roster, once vital and overloaded, has dissipated and my Healing the Earth Family (free) program has not had any takers ...  which indicates to me a widespread mix of apathy, fear, and perhaps lack of time and energy in the population. Too, many people have their faces buried in their social media and that has largely taken the place of interacting in person with groups and individuals. There is no substitute, though (well, no genuine substitute), for the real deal -- a special person, and the natural world.  I talk to people in the grocery store and everywhere ... for conversation and my head's idea rolodex ... and I turn to the natural world for comfort, encouragement, and healing :)  I like to keep things vital and positive.  And I've got a meditation room here that I love; it is filled with things that I treasure.

I've been writing and arranging my newest song, getting in some practice on it!  Will be bringing it to my dear friend's studio to record soon.  Am jamming a couple of times a month (on average) with my former guitarist bandmate, and that is rejuvenating and enjoyable -- lately we've been adding some really old songs ... I mean from the 1920s or so.  I remember them from when my mother used to sing or whistle them many years ago, so it's fun to hear them in my head, figure out the chord progressions, and put a contemporary style on them.  Life needs music!  And it really is the universal language.