Monday, May 11, 2015

Talking It Over ...

(I originally posted this in March of this year and then took it down after a few days, thinking that it was too self-revealing.  I kept the hard copy and decided I ought to re-post it, so here it is):

I'll share the following in the hopes that it might benefit a reader or two in the way it helps me. This is about feelings :)

When my feelings -- especially anxious feelings -- start grabbing a monopoly on my mindset and my thoughts, I like to get out of the house and on the road or to a park.  I also have a meditation room in my home that is very welcoming, where I like to spend some time each day.

While driving or at a relatively serene natural place (or even, at urgent times, in a shopping center parking lot), I make the effort to focus on the feeling that is bothering me and causing my discomfort.  As I write this, I recall that as a child, I was taught by example and by habit to repress my feelings. So in my past (when I was young), my strategy -- if it could be called that -- was to dodge, deny, or shift my feelings of discomfort so that they would seem to "go away". This resulted in what I remember as a never-ending drama that tended to put me in the role of emotional shape-shifter.  It really was an effort to modify or appease or justify or collude with whatever was causing the uncomfortable feeling.  And it caused me to suffer.

At some point in more recent times, it became clear to me, largely through the writings of my favorite author, Thich Nhat Hahn (to whom I was gently steered by my very close friend), that looking directly at a feeling is the best thing to do.  At first that seemed difficult and sometimes it still is. But, honestly, it is one of the best medicines I have found (the others being meditation, prayer, nature, and music).

When I chose the post title "Talking It Over", I meant talking it over with Self when each urgent or important feeling arises -- truly acknowledging the feeling.  As I need to actually hear my own voice speaking of my specific feelings, this conversation is best done aloud in a vehicle or within some other personal and private environment. Yes, I'm suggesting talking to oneself.  The conversation can go into detail or it can be simple like saying "This is a feeling of anxiety", "This is a feeling of fear", "This is a feeling of need", "This is a feeling of disappointment, "This is a feeling of resentment", "This is a feeling of anger" -- and that BIG one -- "This is a feeling of insecurity".  Once the statement is uttered, the feeling becomes easier to understand and handle.  It also, I believe, helps to bring angelic energy to my aid.

I try to remember to similarly also bring to the surface positive emotional feelings like "This is a feeling of wonder", "This is a feeling of joy", "This is a feeling of trust", "This is a feeling of achievement", "This is a feeling of love", "This is a feeling of peace", "This is a feeling of acceptance", "This is a feeling of comfort", "This is a feeling of gratitude".  The utterance of the words, I believe, reinforces angelic and positive energy.

Of course it's a very good thing to be able to be "talking it over" with a trusted friend or a professional listener.  Always, though, Self is there as a valued, accessible consultant.