Thoughts For Chaotic TImes ...

Sunny, sunny day ...  Spring is on the way and on March 20th we will have the Vernal Equinox, first official day of Spring and equal hours of daylight and darkness!  Accentuate the positive :)

Things in our world are chaotic; the election politics are vicious, the middle class is in financial difficulty, our fellow creatures in Nature are in trouble, and our nation is coming apart at the seams in all the important categories. We're encouraged to vote ... and we do vote ... and yet there are super delegates who can ignore our votes and decide elections. Much of the media and both of the party national committees are definitely not playing a fair and impartial role, quite the opposite. They each in their own way are choosing our nominees and next president. There is a lot of anger being expressed in news reader comments by "ordinary" citizens and the outcome is of great concern. And so ...

And so I look out upon the sunny day and try and think of good things. The sun is helpful. I think about my walk along a spiritual path that is guided by Buddhism, Animism, Nature, Empathy, and Wonder.  For me, they go together very well. I understand and love the concept of mindfulness and am greatly helped by it. How about (to go with mindfulness) soulfulness?  I don't think I've heard anyone speak of soulfulness.  Soulfulness feels like love and compassion, deep caring. Wonderful Buddhist author Thich Nhat Hahn doesn't call it that but his writings are full of references to how each of us is part of, responsible for, and connected with the plight of others. His references to the unfortunate life roles of pirates and prostitutes, for example, are food for thought.  His wonderful references to flowers and other denizens of Nature ... and the "continuation" of each living entity, give light and hope.  Here we need to avoid confusion by differentiating between "hope" (which I consider an essential), "faith" (which I regularly pray to have), and "expectation", which can be disappointing and can cause us grief. Soulfulness comes ultra naturally to me. I think it is that mystical part of existence that I haven't really seen named. The Zen word "suchness" is very valuable to me and it neutralizes a lot of frustration when I understand that a person or thing is the way he/she/it is because it is his/her/its suchness to be so. And "It is what it is" often is the best advice to fall back on (for me) and I'm very grateful for it.

I find that I'm greatly helped when I remind myself of the Serenity Prayer -- God grant me .... the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (very hard for an empath to do because we're so sensitized to what other beings are feeling), the courage to change the things I can (I try, I try ... and I pray for courage) ... and the wisdom (ah, there's the pivotal point) to know the difference. Amen.  It's a wonderful prayer.  And some of my readers are familiar with my affinity to Nature and its healing power.  Take me to the mountains, the ocean, the forest, a lake, the park, an overgrown part of the backyard!

For anyone who is so inclined, I still have my free "Healing The Earth Family" program components standing handily by. Contact me if you or an east Tennessee group you belong to has an interest. Also, I have a few copies of my highly unique booklet "The Invisible Hand And Awesome power of My Guardian-Guide -- A Divine, Ever-Present Being Of Energy" (a revelation of some of my experiences); the photo art in this booklet has been praised.  I guess $12 is an affordable price for the booklet and postage.  Also I've got three or four copies left of my "Dr. Clara's Music For Esoteric Healing ... (Mind, Body and Spirit"; it's different than anything else that's out there and goes into detail regarding music, keys, peripherals, and color, their correlations even with the Cosmos; this is a slim booklet (13 pages) crammed with information and should be especially interesting to musicians and anyone else who senses the intrinsic value and power of music. These I can send for $7 which includes postage. Please contact me via e-mail at claralandau@yahoo.com or call me at (865) 659-5383.

OK -- meanwhile, let's think Spring!  Think Beauty, think Loving Kindness. Embrace your loved one.  Have faith in the planet's renewal. Have hope for peace and honest, ethical government. Have courage to carry your sign. Thank a tree for oxygen and fellowship. Maybe get some nice rocks and stack them around your flower bed. And send me your thoughts if you would like to :)

My At-Home Music Performance --

This concept flew into my head about five or six weeks ago. Precipitated by the emotional and practical adjustments one needs to make when a working musical relationship ends, combined with a rather long-standing question in my mind as to how long is long enough for me to be soliciting gigs via the rounds of venues (which, in Knoxville, can be a tough row to hoe due to cliques and gatekeepers). Well, I had/have so many conflicting thoughts and feelings about it all. I love to play and sing music; I particularly love to do my own songs; additionally, I have been unable to turn off the creative processes that cause me to write new songs. I’ve tried. When is a person too "old" to remain an "active" songwriter and musical performer? Maybe more to the point, when is a woman too far past the blossom of youth to sing about romance, passion, love, and all the mundane and ethereal offshoots of those things? Well, since I still feel those things, I still write and sing about them!

The at-home performance idea evolved through several spasms as it morphed, finally, into a simple invitation to a few friends and students to come over to my home studio to catch my performance with my own beloved grand piano, Buddy, here in my own "digs" ! Also on the scene, of course, would be my fine keyboard friend, Yamaha, and my old, dependable Shure mic and Roland amps. The mic and amps have made a gazillion trips along bumpy roads and in and out of venues and have never once complained. But that is an aside ... and I’m often guilty of asides.

The days went on and I had a few flashbacks to my childhood and our household that was as busy as a train station, full of visitors – visitors who would always ask or insist that I play the piano and sing for them (and I would always be required to comply); I remember it was partly annoying and partly titillating and sometimes I would hide in my closet. No matter, though – someone would march into my room, retrieve me and escort me to the piano in the living room.

Well, fast-forward to June 2008. As the performance date grew nearer, I began to wonder if the whole idea was hokey and if people could enjoy it. With the price of gasoline over the $4 mark, we need to get choosy about what event is worth the drive. So was it fair to expect people to come? I couldn’t decide. Then the date rolled around. When several of my friends and students showed up, I was very happy and got the performance into gear. They enjoyed it, as did I! In addition to many of the blues songs people are accustomed to hearing me do, I took the opportunity to play and sing some of my most intricate torch ballads and jazz renderings, and ended the evening with one of my very seldom performed classical originals.

Now the question is sort of whether I will perform anywhere again. Yes, if I’m asked to (but no more calls to venues). But there is probably no question that I will continue to color outside the lines (I think that’s more extreme than thinking outside the box). And next, who knows?