A Red Rose For Me ...

Today was a strange, surreal day of introspection, coming to self-terms, and finding comfort ... on a very deep and profound level.  
  
I, a teacher (music, holistic, and humane education), realize that life places me in a position to always be teaching, even when doing so is the farthest thing from my mind.  Maybe we all are teachers; certainly we all are students ... of Life.  

This morning I went to the chiropractic clinic that has taken on the task of mending my body’s neurological system and some of its joints.  I expected there would be more people than usual at the clinic due to the media clamor about the imminent, colossal snow storm.  Yes, there were throngs of people ... adults and some little children too.  The place, usually serene with inspiring music playing, was full of human voices.  I knew I had to make the best of the situation and I took my place in the long line.  After a while, I really looked at some of the individuals.  I noticed that some of them were looking too.  I was overtaken by a feeling of community with these people ... all of whom were unknown to me.  Each one is there to be comforted, to find a few minutes of peace, to feel hope .  I realized that each one there has his or her own situation and health concern.  I was seeing through eyes that realized we are all creatures hoping for pain relief, a friendly word, and freedom from the grip of illness. 

There was a woman there with three little girls.  The children were very talkative and, surprisingly, not irritating as young kids can be in confined, crowded situations.  One of the children kept pointing at items people had or wore and would exclaim “phone”, “hat”, and then as she looked at my hands, “nail paint”.  As the line moved along, the lady with the girls moved too and they were one space behind me.  So when my table became available, they were next. I heard the mom say “Go to that one (table), next to the Girl”.  The Girl?  Yes, that’s what she called me.  I lifted my head up and said to her “I need to thank you for calling me a ‘girl’ at my age of ...”. She smiled and said “well, she is at a stage where she identifies everybody as a boy or girl"; the child spoke up and said “And I like her nice ponytail”.  

I’m relating all of this to, somehow, create a backdrop for some health info I received yesterday that relates to the ways cumulative heavy-duty stress can find ways to manifest into illnesses that have names -- names that can shake up the status quo, can re-shuffle the deck, can validate those Google searches for symptoms.   When I took the test and was alerted about the probability of diabetes, I thought about  the humor, profundity, implications, irony, beauty of life ... all these things and more.  As I left the chiropractic clinic today, I told the pleasant, helpful woman at the front desk what I had learned yesterday and she said “would it be OK if I say a prayer for your well-being”?  I nodded my assent and she clasped my hands in hers and said aloud a brief, sincere petition on my behalf.  How nice that was. 

I will continue my life-style of exercise and veggie-ism and meditation.  And I will do something more ... I will remember to love myself as a spiritual being.  I bought myself a beautiful Valentine that has a red rose on its cover and a loving message inside. 

Addendum:  6/15/14

I had learned that a high glucose reading could be related to other factors, as the first test was done during the very initial phase of what turned out to be a heavy asthma bout ... so the reading number, itself, was not definitive. More recently I was re-tested and am now on a diabetes med.  I have renewed respect for some advice given to me a couple of years ago by a wise person who said "cherish each day". Amen.  Yes, an attitude of gratitude!  

Music & Meaning ... New Recordings!

Following several weeks of practice and lots of edits on arrangements, I recorded four songs last evening at Songwriters Recording Studio.  Each of the songs is way, way different from the others ... in genre, character, mood.  So I had a good amount of angst about how well I'd be able to get them done.  They turned out nicely and credit for much of that success goes to William (Sandy) Garrett, Songwriters' talented, helpful, patient, gracious man at the helm.

The first two songs are new originals:  "Reverie On Wings" (genre unknown to me at this time so someone tell me, please) and "I Can't Stop The Pain" (eight-bar blues).  Then there is a re-make of "That's The Way You Make Me Feel" (twelve-bar blues original that now has a quirky, fun new intro) and "It Had To Be You" (beloved old cover ballad).   

Musical creation shapes my life and gives it expression, gives it voice -- indeed, it makes my life much easier to live.    I'm very thankful !  

The REAL Down And Dirty Blues !

This morning I spent a couple of hours at the dealership with my truck. When I arrived in the customers' waiting lounge, I grabbed a chair in one of the "business" cubicles, as far away as possible from the mindless clamor of the television set.  Within moments I was writing a new post for my blog.

Everyone knows I love Blues music.  I love it because it is pure, heartfelt, goes right to the core of the issue, puts it out there where the light of day can get at it ... and makes me feel good, or at least, better.

There exists a different kind of "blues" though ... and I speak now of clinical depression.  That's the real down and dirty kind of blues.  Rough to go through, it tends to revisit when it wants to. When it lifts, though, the feeling is wonderful, bright, and peaceful. 

An artist needs contact with the extremes of both joy and sadness; that is where creativity is born -- at that intersection, that juncture.    

I've got four songs preparing for recording.  Two of them (originals) came out of my most recent bout with depression.  The first one, "Reverie On Wings" (alternate title "Let's Do It'), is a rhythmic and eclectic offering about escape and freedom -- or what I should call "flying the coop".  It is about trying to handle perceived confinement in an upbeat way that cuts through fog, clutter, and density.  The second one came while I sipped my orange juice during the morning hours on December 31st, when the depression episode was fully engaged and very heavy.  The song is eight-bar blues and it lyrically talks about pain -- the nature of it, the spirit of it, and the depths of it, and so the song is named "I Can't Stop The Pain".  At first, I set it up in a minor chord format, but it was too "laden", dark, so I changed it so it presents in C major, though with some minor chord passages.  The third song is an ancient cover that I've always liked and could relate to in an abstract way.   "It Had To Be You" is timely now in a more literal way and it feels good to do it.  And fourthly, my 12-bar "That's The Way You Make Me Feel" blues original is ready to be re-recorded -- this time with a more robust character, more initiative!

While deeply honoring the work and talents of all the early blues musicians and those current artists whose efforts have nurtured and maintained the genre, I'm an innovative soul ... and so I take liberties and add my own musical touch :)

And so this morning produced for me the writing of this post, a pleasant visit with my co-visitors at the dealership, and my happily-repaired truck !  And, amazingly, the outdoor temperature had soared to 40+ degrees :)